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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could
use to kill you, including the room itself.
Name them and how they can kill you. No repeats such as " Take a pillow
then shove it down throat, take another pillow then do the same, then
another". If you say something like "he'd use 1242 pennies", then it still counts as one way. BE CREATIVE.

1. Sack of 1,242 pennies. Surprisingly, you don't die by bludgeon. He
makes you swallow each and every one until you die of indigestion or
copper poisoning, whichever comes first.

2. He could skewer you with a fire poker.

3. The first and most obvious is the air in the room. Chuck Norris would
roundhouse kick the air at such a speed as to cause a sonic boom which,
when it slammed into you, would force you into the wall at such a rate
that you would exit on the other side.

4. The ceiling fan as a people-chopper - I'd not be a fan of that, though.

5. squished with the TV.

6. electrocuted with the lamps

7. Chuck Norris could hit me with the lamp.

8. He could grab two containers of play doh and jam them into your eye

9. He could take that decorative candle on the table and shove it up your
ass, rupturing it and causing you to slowly die of septic poisoning.

10. But he's too badass for that, so he'd just shove it through your chest
and into your still-beating heart.

11. He could take a dvd from the case and fling it at me, hitting my
jugular! :(

12. Two words:
Crown moulding.

13. Chuck Norris, if he so wished, could easily shove the hose extension of
my vaccum cleaner into any of my several orifices and suck my inwards
into a handy-dandy bag.

14. Then he could use the bag of organs and tissues
to beat to death any other people nearby.

15. Chuck would use the tapestry rod to kill us, then rollus into the
tapestry itself and bury us in the garden under the window.

16. He might also cram our heads into one of the many vases we have set
around the room. They come in lovely shapes and sizes, so I'm sure
we'll look quite funny as we try to run for our lives.

17. But worst of all, he would bring out the Jumanji game and unleash a
herd of rhinos in the living room. And he would sit back and watch as
they trampled us all to death.

18. Chuck would leave the door ajar, then he'd roundhouse kick that jar at
you so hard you'd be pickled in the jar by the time it hit the ground.

19. the sweat of chuck norris.
some say it could kill a whole african village.
the shamans use it to ward off evil.

20. I know how he could kill you with the room. He'd roundhouse kick the
walls, causing them to crash inwards and smush you. When he was sure
you were dead (and he'd know, he's CHUCK NORRIS) he'd roundhouse kick
them again and they'd return to their original position, with nothing
in the room harmed except... you.

21.He could kill you with a playstation controller by swinging it around
at such a speed that the cord would slice through you and leave you
thinking you were unharmed, until you tried to move and fell apart in

22. He'd break the mirror, slit my jugular vein, then roll me up in the

23. chuck norris would take your DVD copy of 'Scarface' and chop your head
off before finishing the job with, "say hello...to my lil friend."

24. With the wink of an eye, the room would spontaneously combust, killing
me instantly and breaking one of Chuck's fingernails. It grew back
before the dust had settled.

25.He could take the two decks of playing cards with Spiderman and Naked
Men on them and chuck them in such a way that it would actually slice
you up into tiny little pieces. 104 little pieces of you on the living
room floor.

26.My guess is that he would probably take the chocolate covered cherries
in my room and use them as substitutes for my eyeballs, effectively
rendering me blind (in such a delicious way, yum!)so that he could make
me dizzy by roundhouse kicking me to death.

27.The remote control is a dangerous weapon in the hands of Chuck Norris.
If he points it at you and presses "Off", the remote is too afraid of
him to tell him that things don't work like that, and it kills you out
of fear for its own life.

28.He could take that cell phone sitting there on the coffee table and do
a roundkick so it lodges itself in your brain and you die from cancer.

29.A box of paper clips is a deadly weapon in the hands of Chuck Norris.
After he swallows them and craps out a machine gun and kills you dead,
that is.

30.He'd rip open that pillow, and use 1,242 down feathers to prick me to


Blacker Than Dark

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